okay, so here’s a truth i’m not too proud to say.
i wait for your text, each and every time i check my cell for a new message, i wait for an unknown number to appear. *ya, i deleted your number just for the thought of deleting it.*
i search for your face, each time i go to school or a place where we would usually hang, i scan the area like a trained dog, sniffing around for a familiar smell. *shit, i just compared myself to a mutt.*
i check your chat status every once in a while, if you were online or not. you will never know how hard it is for me to not visit your cursed profile, fortunately, i’m strong enough to not give in to the tempting promise of checking it out without you knowing. i know what i would see would hurt me more than it should.
you’ve moved on. FINALLY!! you don’t know how long i’ve waited for this moment. now i’m waiting for me to get over you too, i wonder how long that would take. moreover how much.
i waited for you in his wake. i waited. how stupid. i thought you’d be my friend to say the least, one who would sit beside me in silence, waiting for me to be alright and ready to go inside the room. no matter how many of them people stared as they walked on by, no matter how many eyebrows raised. now i know, that was only me.
i feel so stupid to have loved you. but then again, it’s the bitterness talking. it was my call in the first place, to let you go, and well, honestly speaking, it took you long enough to leave things be and give it all up. i can’t expect any more from you anyway. i know that now.
i wait for the day when i won’t have to ask my friends for news about you. or when i won’t feel anxious to see your fucking number on my cp screen. or when i won’t get affected by the news of you getting it on with a former schoolmate of mine who happend to be a close friend to. shit, you’re such a flirt, i wish you’d suck it. leave my mind alone.
i don’t want to lie to my friends, but i mean, they’re not asking anyway.
